Hallmarks of Holy Family Life: Honor for Parents

Feast of the Holy Family

Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14

God sets a father in honor over his children;
    a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.
Whoever honors his father atones for sins,
    and preserves himself from them.
When he prays, he is heard;
    he stores up riches who reveres his mother.
Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children,
    and, when he prays, is heard.
Whoever reveres his father will live a long life;
    he who obeys his father brings comfort to his mother.

My son, take care of your father when he is old;
    grieve him not as long as he lives.
Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him;
    revile him not all the days of his life;
kindness to a father will not be forgotten,
    firmly planted against the debt of your sins
    —a house raised in justice to you.

The family is the cell of society, its basic building block. Even if we have no family of our own, every one of us is the product of a family. Family is therefore universal, which is to say it is catholic. The Feast of the Holy Family focuses our attention on one of the hallmarks of a holy family: honor for parents.The first reading from Sirach, which is a summary of the Israelite wisdom tradition after the convergence of Jewish piety and Greek philosophy, dives into the parent-child relationship of love and honor at the heart of family life. 

In Catholic catechetical tradition, the Fourth Commandment to honor one’s parents is the first commandment on the second tablet, the first one related to love of neighbor. However, in the Jewish tradition, it is the final commandment on the first tablet dealing with love of God. The point here, which Sirach assumes, is that by honoring our parents, we honor the Lord. Sirach specifies that honoring parents atones for sins, just like the bloody sacrifices of the Temple liturgy brought about atonement under the Old Covenant and the sacrifice of Jesus brought about the ultimate atonement in the New Covenant. Honoring our parents, at any age, is a sacred participation in Jesus’ sacrifice out of obedience to the Father. It makes our families holy.

Honor for parents is so important to the Lord that he attaches some remarkable blessings to it. In addition to atoning for sins it also results in a fruitful prayer life and makes for a happy family life. We can see this in Jesus’ own family life growing up, where he himself “was obedient to them [i.e. Mary and Joseph]” (Luke 2:51). The Holy Family was by no means exempt from difficulties (see the Flight to Egypt in Matthew 2:13-23), but they experienced the simple joys of a loving family that honored the Lord by honoring one another. 

On this Holy Family Sunday, the Lord asks us to consider the role of honor within our families. Perhaps you need to work on showing greater honor, on honoring the memory of your deceased parents, or on showing honor despite a difficult phase in the relationship. Or perhaps he is simply reminding you of the blessings he has given you for your efforts at keeping the Fourth Commandment. Family is important, and families striving for holiness can reign down blessing upon the world.